The KelliGram

Happy ReNew Year!

kellivrla — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 16:06:58 +0000

We're all just one Etch-a-Sketch shake from resetting our New Year!

“Less is More”

“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.”- Hans Hoffman

Welcome to the New Year, a time for new beginnings, fresh starts. I like to look at it as the lucky moment we all have to shake that giant Etch-a-Sketch tablet and reset our slates to a clean, fresh palette.

Consider rethinking how you interact with your world, your work, your relationships.
Love this quote by Willam Channing—it seems to help put it all into perspective for me:

“To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, await occasions, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common – this is my symphony.” – William Emery Channing

It’s a great time to take stock of what’s working and what needs work in our lives.
Some areas need fine tuning and some need complete overhauls. Remember habits take a while to undo and redo. Go easy on yourself in the growing transition.

Declutter the corners that crave the most attention (in the way of negative, frustrating destractive energy zapping).
As Henry David Thoreau said, “Simplify, Simplify!”

Rethink all things that you allow to steal precious time, effort and energy from positive, productive directions. (This includes people, things, and activities)

Absorb a few ideas on how to rethink, renew, recharge….rinse, repeat! Choose a simple path and get started. Test drive it and see how it works. Fine tune and keep moving on the path. Don’t be afraid to discard the things that no longer serve your positive, productive purpose. Just get it started…and press on.

Enjoy the journey—it’s the only one we have!
Best wishes for your ReNewal Year! Kelli V.

Nothing is Something

kellivrla — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 12:44:54 +0000

Breathe in , breathe out...repeat

Peaceful

Overload. Overwhelm. Overboard. Sometimes it’s good to just sit or take a walk to debrief the information overload we get each day. This is hard for us Type A’s, as many of us feel like we need to do, do, do something to accomplish our goals. An integral part of getting your stuff done involves the ability to step back and check your systems. Ask “What’s working?” and “What needs work?” or “What do I need to Stop/ Start/ or Continue to keep on track. Silence is golden. I took a peaceful lingering walk through a zen sculpture garden this past weekend. Usually it takes me awhile to come down from my high level of intensity to really enjoy my surroundings. The sun was warm, the breeze was cool…birds chirping…fountains gurgling…eventually, I found my peaceful zone. I was able to really think about some of the systems I have in place and make some mental notes on how to enhance them. Consider this a necessary maintenance routine…imagine trying to change the oil on your car while it’s still moving. You will have to pull over every once in while for a pit stop for progress.

Challenge Question: Ask “When can I schedule my zen zone this week? Can I put that on my weekly calendar from now on?”
Give it a try and pass it on!
Remember to enjoy the journey, Kelli V.

New Year’s Non-Resolutions!

kellivrla — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 17:10:51 +0000

Greetings! So how are the New Year’s resolutions going so far?
Sometimes we find our resolutions (or lack of fulfilling them) pack on more stress.
Here’s an example of my resolutions over the last 3 years:
2 Years Ago: I resolve to join a gym and work out every single day!
Last Year (revised): I resolve to join a gym and work out 3x a week.
This Year : I resolve to drive by my gym at least 3x a week.
Don’t let the stress of new habits get to you. Give yourself a break and take credit for trying to
create a new habit. Remember, it takes at least 21 days to change a habit. That means in order to
start or stop doing something, it will take time before it feels comfortable.
Work through the discomfort by knowing you’re being positive and proactive. The discomfort
is actually a good sign of your growing pains.
Stay focused on your new habits. Print them on a large sheet of paper and hang them on your
desk at work or on your mirror at home–somewhere you will see them often.
Don’t overload yourself with new things. If you have a long list of improvements (or selfremodeling,
as I like to call it) then only tackle one or two before moving on.
Changing habits should feel like tweaking tune-ups, not major overhauls.
Soon the newer habits will replace old ones with more productive ways to do things.
Remember, you’re either moving toward your goal or away from it. You can only inhale or
exhale at once–you cannot do both at the same time. Focus on the end result of what you’re new
habits will accomplish. Stay light!
Training Tip: Move motivational posters around your staff’s office area. This helps achieve a
“new” look and keeps them from becoming part of the wallpaper. Consider rotating them on a
regular basis.
This has been another quick look at STRESS-RELIEF from the folks at www.kelliv.com.
Have a super week, and pass the lightness on! Take care, Kelli V. kelli@kelliv.com

Motion vs Progress

kellivrla — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 21:07:39 +0000

“Nothing is easier than being busy, and nothing more difficult than being effective.” -Alex MacKenzie

Busy, busy, busy—flying round and round, but what do you have to SHOW for it?

Know the difference between MOTION and PROGRESS by first deciding what metric or RESULT means you’re moving forward. Ask an AM (Before) and PM (After) question to keep you on track. Example: (Before) “What exactly must I accomplish on this phone call to move this transaction forward?” (After) “What exactly did I accomplish on the call, etc”

Be alert to tangible, measurable moves in the positive direction. Stay focused with posted reminders in highly visible areas of your office: “Go for PROGRESS!” “What’s the TANGIBLE RESULT of this task?” “Is this the BEST USE of MY TIME RIGHT NOW??” You will stay more on task and on target for bigger and better ROTI (Return on Time Invested)!

You just cain’t fix stupid…

kellivrla — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 12:27:51 +0000

Ask yourself right now: “How can I think before I engage in a frustrating encounter with one of my ‘SAI’ people? How can I remind myself to be more amused than mad?”

Dealing with the “severely aware impaired” (SAI) can be a daily frustrating challenge. Decide to be amused with people who just don’t get it. Your other futile option is to get increasingly upset when they continue not to get it.

“Where’s my surprise face?” If you continue to be surprised when they don’t get it, perhaps you’re becoming “severely aware impaired.” Resist the urge to give FREE SEMINARS to people who did NOT sign up! Stop wasting precious time and energy explaining the whole enchilada, when the chips and salsa are all they can handle.

75/25 Rule

kellivrla — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 09:36:53 +0000

75% of dealing with difficult people and situations is understanding. 25% of dealing with difficult people and situations is skill and technique.

The good news is it’s something we can all improve upon; most of us are not born with the ability to handle the sticky wickets among us. Practice every chance you get, as the opportunities are bountiful. Before diving in, strive to understand the person, the situation, the real issue, and the real obstacles. If all else fails, ask the person you’re dealing with his/her take on the situation, so you can at least agree on where the gaps are.

So ask yourself: How can I better understand a person or situation this week I have perceived as “difficult”?

Next Best Steps

kellivrla — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 11:22:38 +0000

This is the best phrase for moving a conflict forward: “What’s our Next Best Step here?”

Whether it’s with a client, colleague or loved one, you will always be taking the high road if you’ll remember this valuable phrase.

When we focus forward to fix facts, rather than back on blame, the conversation takes on a more productive dynamic. Some of us want to hang out in the limbo of “he said/she said,” when it doesn’t have anything to do with fixing the challenge at hand.

We like to be right. Best to focus your creative energies on the “next best step.” You’ll find a much quicker end to the discussions in the process and a plan to move it forward.

So today, ask yourself: “When can I use the “Next Best Step” phrase today? This week?”

Bless yore lil h-e-a-r-r-r-rr-t!!

kellivrla — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 18:24:20 +0000

Today, ask yourself: Is the comment I’m about to make a “blessing” (sincere praise) or a “dissing” (passive-aggressive)? If there’s doubt, probably best to leave it out.

In Texas we have this wonderful catch-all phrase and we use it like an etch-a-sketch erase of a back-handed compliment. Example: “Nice dress, but not on you…“Bless yore lil h-e-a-r-r-r-rr-t !” You think you’ve been blessed, when you’ve really been ‘dissed.’

Back-handed compliments lurk everywhere. They’re like giant take-aways from a real issue. Comments like, “Did you lose your yard guy?” or “It must be frustrating gaining back all that weight…” or “It’s great knowing your kid passed…with the curved grade and all…”

Ethos, Pathos, Logos and Laugh-os

kellivrla — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 11:11:18 +0000

Today, Ask Yourself: Where can I practice “Laugh-os” this week and look at things more lightly?

Quote: “She who laughs, lasts.” Kelli S. Vrla, CSP

Distilled Nugget: What helps persuade others both in drama and in life?

Ethos: having ethical, moral character
Pathos: appealing with passion
Logos: appealing with logic

But don’t forget to add my favorite Greek trait: Laugh-os (laff-os), the ability to look at things lightly and with a great sense of humor. Perhaps the greatest gift you can give yourself (and others) is a sense of humor. Find difficult situations amusing. Remember, you will always find what you seek. Seek lightness and it will lay itself at your feet.

Title: Ethos, Pathos, Logos, and Laugh-os

Icon: 21619632, hysterics, ha, face, laughing

Let There Be P’s on Earth

kellivrla — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 10:22:12 +0000

Today, Ask Yourself About the Four “P’s”: Positive, Polite, Professional, Proactive: How many of the four Ps can I practice in my next interaction? In all my interactions?

Quote: “The glue that holds all relationships together – including the relationship between the leader and the led is trust, and trust is based on integrity.” Brian Tracy

Distilled Nugget: Practice the four Ps in all you do. Strive to be Positive, Polite, Professional, Proactive. Positive: Tell people what they can have or do, not what they can’t. Polite: Remember to use simple courtesies like “Please” and “Thank you.” Professional: Always be above board. Pretend you’re being followed by a paparazzi of cameras at all times. What would you like to see on the six o’clock news about you? Proactive: Be ever mindful of moving transactions forward. Focus forward on fixing, rather than backward on blaming.

Title: Let There Be P’s on Earth!

Icon: 22322163 – GUY driving with PEACE sign