Ask yourself right now: “How can I think before I engage in a frustrating encounter with one of my ‘SAI’ people? How can I remind myself to be more amused than mad?”
Dealing with the “severely aware impaired” (SAI) can be a daily frustrating challenge. Decide to be amused with people who just don’t get it. Your other futile option is to get increasingly upset when they continue not to get it.
“Where’s my surprise face?” If you continue to be surprised when they don’t get it, perhaps you’re becoming “severely aware impaired.” Resist the urge to give FREE SEMINARS to people who did NOT sign up! Stop wasting precious time and energy explaining the whole enchilada, when the chips and salsa are all they can handle.
75% of dealing with difficult people and situations is understanding. 25% of dealing with difficult people and situations is skill and technique.
The good news is it’s something we can all improve upon; most of us are not born with the ability to handle the sticky wickets among us. Practice every chance you get, as the opportunities are bountiful. Before diving in, strive to understand the person, the situation, the real issue, and the real obstacles. If all else fails, ask the person you’re dealing with his/her take on the situation, so you can at least agree on where the gaps are.
So ask yourself: How can I better understand a person or situation this week I have perceived as “difficult”?
This is the best phrase for moving a conflict forward: “What’s our Next Best Step here?”
Whether it’s with a client, colleague or loved one, you will always be taking the high road if you’ll remember this valuable phrase.
When we focus forward to fix facts, rather than back on blame, the conversation takes on a more productive dynamic. Some of us want to hang out in the limbo of “he said/she said,” when it doesn’t have anything to do with fixing the challenge at hand.
We like to be right. Best to focus your creative energies on the “next best step.” You’ll find a much quicker end to the discussions in the process and a plan to move it forward.
So today, ask yourself: “When can I use the “Next Best Step” phrase today? This week?”
Today, ask yourself: Is the comment I’m about to make a “blessing” (sincere praise) or a “dissing” (passive-aggressive)? If there’s doubt, probably best to leave it out.
In Texas we have this wonderful catch-all phrase and we use it like an etch-a-sketch erase of a back-handed compliment. Example: “Nice dress, but not on you…“Bless yore lil h-e-a-r-r-r-rr-t !” You think you’ve been blessed, when you’ve really been ‘dissed.’
Back-handed compliments lurk everywhere. They’re like giant take-aways from a real issue. Comments like, “Did you lose your yard guy?” or “It must be frustrating gaining back all that weight…” or “It’s great knowing your kid passed…with the curved grade and all…”
Today, Ask Yourself: Where can I practice “Laugh-os” this week and look at things more lightly?
Quote: “She who laughs, lasts.” Kelli S. Vrla, CSP
Distilled Nugget: What helps persuade others both in drama and in life?
- Ethos: having ethical, moral character
- Pathos: appealing with passion
- Logos: appealing with logic
But don’t forget to add my favorite Greek trait: Laugh-os (laff-os), the ability to look at things lightly and with a great sense of humor. Perhaps the greatest gift you can give yourself (and others) is a sense of humor. Find difficult situations amusing. Remember, you will always find what you seek. Seek lightness and it will lay itself at your feet.
Title: Ethos, Pathos, Logos, and Laugh-os
Icon: 21619632, hysterics, ha, face, laughing
Today, Ask Yourself About the Four “P’s”: Positive, Polite, Professional, Proactive: How many of the four Ps can I practice in my next interaction? In all my interactions?
Quote: “The glue that holds all relationships together – including the relationship between the leader and the led is trust, and trust is based on integrity.” Brian Tracy
Distilled Nugget: Practice the four Ps in all you do. Strive to be Positive, Polite, Professional, Proactive. Positive: Tell people what they can have or do, not what they can’t. Polite: Remember to use simple courtesies like “Please” and “Thank you.” Professional: Always be above board. Pretend you’re being followed by a paparazzi of cameras at all times. What would you like to see on the six o’clock news about you? Proactive: Be ever mindful of moving transactions forward. Focus forward on fixing, rather than backward on blaming.
Title: Let There Be P’s on Earth!
Icon: 22322163 – GUY driving with PEACE sign
Today, Ask Yourself: What can I know more of this week that can help me fear something less?
Quote: “Success in business requires training and discipline and hard work. But if you’re not frightened by these things, the opportunities are just as great today as they ever were.” –David Rockefeller
Distilled Nugget: Knowledge is the antidote for fear. If ever you find that you are fearful of something, you must strive to know more about it because knowledge controls fear. The odds are good that someone knows a bit more about this situation than you do. Strive to find out more with all the resources available to you: friends, foes, Internet, books, tapes, seminars, etc.
Title: Fear = Lack of Knowledge
Icon: 1330524 (ENLARGE as much as possible; or this one if you cannot enlarge the above one: 14733837 Man being pulled into computer by scary hands!